5 Steps to Creating Bliss in Chaos

Happiness is a choice. I know firsthand that that seems like a condescending statement. When the pain and fear and paralysis of being victimized by a bully sets in, it can feel like a vice grip. But, finding happiness is not only possible, it is essential for your own mental well-being and quality of life.

 

1# GET HEALTHY

When you aren’t healthy and don’t feel physically well, depression and unhappiness have a much better perch. Make small changes to your health, tweak your diet, get outside and get some fresh air, and focus on becoming a physically healthy person.

 

2# FIND FUN

My children have spent almost their entire lives under the black cloud of a stalker. But one of the ways that we managed was to create fun. My family celebrates weekly “Sunday Funday” which usually involves a board game, a cheesy 80’s movie, and pizza. Making fun has been such an important part of our lives that even though my kids are in their early twenties and late teens, we all still find time most Sunday afternoons to get together for “Sunday Funday.”

 

No matter what you find fun, make a point to do it regularly. There were Sunday’s that I felt so depressed that I had to paint on a smile and drag myself to the table. But I did it, and invariably, after a few rounds, my mood improved and for a brief period, I forgot my fear and hurt. You need a break from the chaos and pain. Find fun.

 

3# MAKE SMALL CHANGES

We all get stuck in a routine, but when that rut includes feeling depressed, small changes can make big differences. Get up a little earlier, add positive music to your day, read about inspiring people, get more fiber….whatever little changes you can make that shake up your routine will help keep your life fresh. Check out my weekly Stop It Arsenal for articles, books, music, and interesting finds from around the internet that can help you develop an armory against stalking and bullying.

 

4# CREATE A HAPPINESS SPACE

Being a bit of a scatterbrain when it comes to hobbies and having the luxury of a big old house to fill, I have created several happiness spaces. I have a sewing and crafts room, an area where I paint, and a big comfy chair for reading. But no matter the space or hobby that makes you happy, create a designated space for that activity.  

 

5# BE OPEN TO HAPPINESS

This can be the most difficult step in creating bliss in chaos. Many people who fall victim to a stalker or a bully believe that they deserve to be hurt. Whether this is from childhood trauma, low self-esteem, or mental health issues, many victims are so used to feeling unhappy that experiencing joy is frightening.

 

You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be able to experience peace and happiness without the fear that doing so will trigger something bad. Once you open yourself to happiness and can recognize that the bullying behavior is about the bully being broken, not a value judgement on you as a person, you can invite bliss into your life.